Everything You're Always Asked About a Briard...
(and never want to answer)
by Catherine de la Cruz, Great Pyrenees Club of America
forwarded (with appropriate modifications) to Briard-L by Rosemarie
Szostak
How big, really, is a Briard?
Your dining room table is 27" from the floor, kitchen counters 36". The
average female Briard can walk under your dining room table only if she
ducks her head; the average male need to either scrunch himself smaller or
lift your table a few inches higher. In either case, the front of the
counter is not the place to store meat thawing for dinner. The top of the
refrigerator is out of the reach of most Briards.
How much do they weigh?
On the scale at the feed store, 60 to 120 pounds. While trying to give one
a pill or cut its nails: as much as a Moray eel. On the first day of
obedience class: as much as a young elephant. The day you teach the "down"
exercise in obedience class: as much as a Sumo wrestler. When walking
through a litter of pups, kittens, chicks or lambs: about as much as two
feathers.
How much do they eat?
As much as they want--never mind what the back of the dog-food bag says.
The average Briard can survive quite nicely and maintain weight and normal
activity on as much dog food as will fit into a two-pound coffee can.
Most, however, have convinced their owners that plain dog food is
completely unpalatable and will starve unless supplemented with ground
round, chicken breast, sirloin tips or cheese omelets. If he discovers you
have a weakness for cookies you may find your leg battered black and blue
by Briard-paw-pats, repeated until you share the cookies--Oreos are much
preferred to Milk Bones.
Do they shed much?
At the annual ritual known as "coat blowing" you can comb enough fur out
of your dog to have spun into enough yarn to make yourself a cap, a scarf
and a pair of mittens. Why you would want to is beyond me, since
everything else you own is already lavishly decorated with Briard hair.
Since shedding, in some degree, takes place 365 days a year, you will have
ample decoration on your rug, couch, bed, etc. Since tawny Briard hair
has a particular affinity for dark clothing, the tawny Briard-owning
business person wears a lot of light grey and tan. Firefighters, police
officers and military personnel owned by Briards learn to leave their
uniforms in sealed lockers at work and change there.
What about barking?
What about it? If begun early, you can train yourself to come every time
your Briard barks and give it some attention. Give him enough attention
for barking, and your neighbors will also begin to give you some
attention. Mutual reinforcement always works. What do Briards bark at?
Only things they can see and hear--that includes low flying satellites in
orbit and butterflies. Most Briards eavesdrop on a family argument four
houses away, yet become selectively deaf upon hearing words like "stop
that", "come here" and "be quiet". Briard owners exchange information on
stopping barking the way our grandmothers exchanges recipes for pickles -
no two were ever alike.
I've heard they like to dig.
How do you think the Pyrenees mountains were really constructed between
Franch and Spain? One Briard, out of consideration for her owner's
failing eyesight, enlarged the cup of his putting green to bunker-sized.
Landscape companies report their greatest repeat business comes from
Briard owners. Some Briard owners, however, simply resign themselves to
living with a yard that looks like a gunnery range.
How do Briards and children get along?
If you train your children early enough not to tease the dog--not to pull
his tail, wake him by jumping on top of him, pinch his ears or steal his
food--your Briard will be safe from the kids. Children are not as easy
to train as a Briard because it is not legal to put a choke-chain and
leash on a child.